Experiences of a Second-Generation Immigrant and How Media Affects You (“Playing Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain" by Jamil Jan Kochai)

 “But now, at the door, is your father.

“‘Mirwais?’ he is saying, very gently, the way he used to say it when you were a kid, when you were in Logar, when you got the flu, when the pills and the I.V. and the home remedies weren’t working, when there was nothing to do but wait for the aching to ebb, and your father was there, maybe in the orchard, maybe on the veranda, and he was holding you in his lap, running his fingers through your hair, and saying your name, the way he is saying it now, as if it were almost a question.

“Keep going.” (Kochai 14-15).

In “Playing Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain,” Jamil Jan Kochai describes the relationship between a son and his veteran father, represented through a video game. As the narrator immerses himself in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain’s setting of Afghanistan, he visualizes himself in his childhood hometown of northern Kabul. He becomes more and more engaged in this delusion of saving his father and uncle during the war, as his family periodically interrupts with concern. 

Near the end of the story, just after the narrator is bringing his father and uncle to safety in the game, “now, at the door, [was his] father.” (14). After attempts of other family members in breaking away the narrator’s attention from the game, his father finally comes to the door of his locked room: “‘Mirwais?’ he is saying, very gently, the way he used to say it when you were a kid” (14-15). The narrator has pulled himself away from reality, he resides in this reimagined version of the game, in which he is able to rekindle and save his father. In the game, he saves his father from the war, but does not focus on the current reality of his father being there for him.

The narrator continues with his description: “when you were in Logar, when you got the flu, when the pills and the I.V. and the home remedies weren’t working, when there was nothing to do but wait for the aching to ebb, and your father was there, maybe in the orchard, maybe on the veranda, and he was holding you in his lap, running his fingers through your hair, and saying your name, the way he is saying it now, as if it were almost a question” (14-15). Typically seen in this story, interjections from reality, such as his brother knocking on the door, are summed up in a simple sentence. This longer description of a memory shared with his father demonstrates his reminiscing and almost a spiraling of his thoughts; it implies a wistfulness and an underlying longing. The memory takes place when the narrator was younger, back in his childhood home. It portrays a simple moment, an act of tenderness between father and son, when there was nothing to worry about besides this illness. It is a stark contrast to the present, where his father only speaks to him in English, since he has long given up on trying to speak to him in Pashto. As he grows older, he only grows more disconnected from his family and to his heritage as a result. Neither of them know how to express their affection now to each other, especially with the added burden of the language barrier.

 

His father calls him “‘Mirwais?’...the way he used to say it when [he was] a kid” (14). He may say it the same but the relationship is no longer the same as it was before. This moment reveals how deeply he and his father still care about each other, but only emphasizes the growing chasm between them, as neither are able to connect with one another. His father even calls to him “as if it were almost a question” (15). A father calling to his son is usually shown to be done without a doubt, but the hesitancy in his tone stresses how their relationship is now uncertain territory. Despite this, the narrator tells himself to “keep going” (15). He is unable to grasp reality; he experiences a delusion of saving his family in the game but in real life, he cannot show the same amount of care to his father. In the narrator’s eyes, this game is used to rekindle him and his father’s relationship, as he does not know how to do the same in reality.

 

“Playing Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain” uses a second person point-of-view to immerse the reader in the narrator’s shoes and experience the world the same as he does. The format of the story elaborates so much on what occurs in the game, it almost causes the reader to get lost in the description, mimicking what the narrator is experiencing. It emphasizes how the line between fiction and reality is hard to distinguish, further pushing the message that the media you consume has an effect on you. When playing it, the narrator does not think about it; he is so attached to what is on the screen and continues to mindlessly consume. Furthermore, Kochai does an incredible job showcasing generational trauma and the experience of being a second-generation immigrant. He shows the clear separation between the narrator and his family: how he is unable to fully connect with them, so he surrounds himself in American culture, shown with playing these games and blasting MF Doom. In immersing himself with this, he rejects his own heritage because it has never felt like his own---he does not share the same experiences as his father nor the rest of his family.